"When in Rome, do as the Romans do." 

I have always appreciated this proverb. To me, observing a new environment is as fascinating as learning a new language. When I lived in France, I adapted to the local conversational style—engaging in lively interruptions and allowing others to do the same. I also found it natural to state my position clearly, something I had always enjoyed doing even back in Japan.

However, I believe you can remain true to yourself wherever you are. Your fundamental values do not change easily, and it is perfectly normal to find certain aspects of a new culture difficult to accept.

For instance, I struggled with the traditional French view of early childhood. I noticed a tendency to see small children as "incomplete adults" who require strict discipline to become "human," rather than trusting in a toddler's natural ability to learn by observing. This isn't a critique of the education system, but rather an observation of a deep-seated cultural mindset. Conversely, I found that the rights and autonomy of high school students were often more respected in France than in Japan.

Ultimately, I learned that cultural integration is nuanced. You don't have to blindly accept everything, nor should you stubbornly reject everything. The key is to consciously choose how you engage with the world around you.

Lessons and Insights From My Journey

What I’ve learned about myself

• I am more resilient than I once believed; setbacks no longer define me, they refine me.
• My values matter more than my circumstances, and returning to them helps me make grounded choices.
• I can hold both vulnerability and strength at the same time, and that balance is where my courage lives.
• Growth often feels uncomfortable, but that discomfort is usually a sign that I am moving forward.

What I’ve learned about others

• People are often fighting battles I cannot see, so I try to lead with patience and compassion.
• Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not on guessing or pretending everything is fine.
• Boundaries are an act of respect for both myself and others, not a rejection or a wall.
• The right people do not need me to be perfect; they need me to be real and consistent.

What I’ve learned about life

• Life rarely follows the script I imagined, but detours can reveal paths I never knew I needed.
• Small, steady steps create more lasting change than dramatic, short-lived efforts.
• Loss and disappointment can coexist with gratitude and hope; I do not have to choose only one.
• Meaning comes from how I respond, not from what happens to me.

How these lessons guide me now

• I choose decisions that align with my core values, even when they are slower or harder.
• I invest in relationships that feel mutual, honest, and kind, and I release those that drain me.
• I give myself permission to start again, to learn in public, and to celebrate small progress.
• Above all, I try to move forward with a quiet confidence that I can grow through whatever comes next.